Forgotten
by rain12710
Summary: The present comes crashing down, and everything anyone thought was right, turns out to be wrong. Natasha Romanoff has worked at S.H.I.E.L.D. for eight years when the present falls and at the same time her past comes back to bite her, but not in a way she'd ever expected. And who's this Eva lurking about? Clintasha.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N Hey... It's been a long while since I've written anything. I mean like four months. So I'm sorry if I'm a little rusty. Anyway, welcome to my new story, Forgotten, it's written (so far) from Natasha's Point of view, and though I don't plan to change that, things don't always go to plan. I think that's it, so bye and review if you're feeling nice._

**Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of. You know whatever you do, they'll still be there. ~Amy Li**

Twenty eight years ago, in 1986, I was born.

Twenty six years ago my sister was born.

Twenty four years ago I celebrated my fourth birthday like nothing would ever go wrong.

Twenty two years ago my parents and my sister were killed and I joined the Red Room.

Twenty years ago I learnt how to speak English.

Eighteen years ago I started getting lessons on how to kill people.

Sixteen years ago I was sent on my first mission, to get information on something.

Fourteen years ago I killed my first man.

Twelve years ago I was made a conscious decision that I wanted to leave the Red Room.

Ten years ago I left the Red Room and became a freelance assassin.

Eight years ago Clint brought me in to S.H.I.E L.D.

Six years ago Budapest happened.

Four years ago I became Tony Stark's PA for a month or two.

Two years ago the Avengers happened.

Of course all this didn't happen on the same day, just what I would say happened over the year if I was told I had to say one thing. It would either be that or my kill count for that year. This year hasn't had anything noteworthy yet, but it's only nearing the end of March. This year I have killed too many people, been annoyed by Tony Stark too many times and haven't seen Clint much. I was on a mission alone until January 17th, but he was sent on one on the 16th. Then I was sent on one with Cap until February 6th, when Clint was back too. We did one mission together before Fury sent him on something top secret in Europe and I've trained rookies til now. He's not due to return any time soon, but knowing Clint he'll do something stupid to get himself hurt or captured. No, he probably won't. He is supposed to be Hawkeye.

I'm required to be at HQ today from nine til five, training newbies and doing whatever else Fury or Hill require me to do. This year brings only two promising new recruits, a man and a woman, who with years of experience could be quite good. Today we're starting actual sparring, so far we've only done it with those karate dummies, which although are useful, aren't really the same thing. Of course I haven't shown them any of my sparring, because it's the best bit when they get too cocky.

So I begin with asking who wants to go up against me first, and a strong man named Andrew walks forward. He's the type that always do. They think I'm small and easily beatable but I know there's agents that are just in the gym today to watch this. "I'll go easy on you," I smile, giving him a false sense of hope. Before he can reply a young agent who's recently been helping me named Ella says go. He tries to punch me in the stomach but I jump backwards, causing him to stumble a little. He bends again to go in to another punch. Using this I push down on his shoulders and jump above him, wrapping my thighs around his neck. Theres an echo of laughs as I unwrap my legs from his neck and stand up to face the group. I am about go speak when another agent rushes in to the gym.

"Agent Romanoff, Fury says he needs you. He says I'm to take over this." The agent tells me and I suddenly remember his name.

"Okay, Agent Matthews. We've only just begun. Is it because of Agent Barton?" I really do hope Clint hasn't done something stupid because I always seem to be clearing up his mess.

"I don't think so." Matthews says and I nod to her and the recruits, taking the elevator to one of the highest floors to see Director Fury.

He's waiting for me, eyepatch and all at his door, not inviting me in but taking, me back down the elevator again, hitting the button for the interrogation rooms. "You are being put on a special case Agent Romanoff. The girl you are going to see... She's difficult. We've been trying for a few days and we haven't got anything out of her, not even a name. She killed an agent in New York, and we want to know why. You'll be on this until she cracks. Use any means necessary but please don't kill her. She doesn't seem like an agent of anything though. You need to break her for us."

"I will do whatever I am required to, sir." I say, and he sighs as he knows I have sunk back in to a monotonous voice like I always do when I haven't see Clint in a little while. He knows about us, as does Hill, and they're the only two since Coulson... passed.

"Good luck. Report to me if you find anything." He replies and then leaves me at interrogation room number five. I enter and lock the door behind me. The girl doesn't speak. She has red hair and green eyes just like me. I go up to her and begin to untie her bonds, letting her free from the chair. Giving her false hope. It's all in the psychology. She smiles at me and it immediately dissolves, in to an expression of shock.

"Shit Nat..." She whispers. "What the hell have you become?"

"Who are you?" I ask, rather quietly.

"I'm offended."

"What, that I don't know who you are?" I ask confused.

"Obviously, what else have we talked about?" This girl is sassy.

"That you don't think much of what I've become. So I'll ask again. Who are you?" I say this more fiercely, hoping she'll break. Just my luck that she doesn't.

"Remember. You know me. Back before the f**king Red Room bastards. Back you had a life. We both did." Red room she's working for the Red Room, but she wants to leave like I did. I have to help her. But we? Did I know her before they took my life away.

"What the hell are you on about?"

"You _know_. Remember." Obviously I don't know, other wise I wouldn't ask you now would I?

"What's your name?" I say this as fiercely as I have all this while I've been in here.

She begins to speak in Russian her words muddling in to each other so fast I can't understand until she says, "Наталья слушать меня, пожалуйста" _Natalia listen to me, please. "_Меня зовут Ева." _My name's Eva._

Eva. Her name's Eva


	2. Chapter 2

_Shoutouts to **Jo-Jo287 ** and **ilikehats2** for reviewing! _

_Also, sorry for the Russian speaking viewers that I don't speak Russian, and nor does anyone I know so the Russian in this chapter and any other languages (except maybe a little Spanish or French, that might get put in later, and might not) will all come from Google Translate, which we all know is not the best translator. I also realise that Natasha and Eva might have their whole conversation in Russian, however this fic is in English so I have only put the sentimental bits in to their native language. Enjoy the chapter and don't forget to review!_

I wake in the infirmary with no clue at all of where I am. Why am I here? I can't remember. Do I have concussion? I don't have a headache. Where's Clint? He's always here when I am. Why is there- Eva. Jesus Christ no. Not Eva. It can't be.

I race back to the interrogation rooms, slipping in to room five. "I'm surprised they let you back in here. I know I'm dramatic and all that but seriously, fainting? Nat I expected better." A voice from the corner comes. "I've heard your the scary Black Widow and the first guy said he wouldn't want to cross you, but your supposed to find information out from me and then I tell you my name and you faint. Seriously Natalia, I thought you would be better, I mean one picks up things living on the streets."

"Eva?" I whisper, "How do I know it's really you?" She looks like me sure, but the last time I saw her I was six years old and she was four. Life was a little different back then. And even if she is my sister... How the hell do I know I can trust her. How do I know as she so wonderfully described, that she isn't one of the 'fucking Red Room bastards' herself?

"DNA test? But seriously, I am. You know the day before... Everything... It was my fourth birthday and I knocked my front tooth out. Baby tooth though." That happened.

"How do I know I can trust you?"

"You don't. But I'm willing to prove that I can be to you." People you can trust usually say that. But the people that are the best at this, know that too.

"You used to call me Anya because that's what you thought I should have been called, and my middle name is Anastasia." Pause. "You did ballet and karate classes." Pause. "Mama used to braid our hair and put us in the same clothes, which you hated and I loved. I always wanted to be just like you." She smiles, remembering. "We shared a room. Which you also hated."

"So, what happened to you then? How did you survive?" I ask, suddenly quite sure it could be her, but I'm sure she was in the house when it burnt down.

"You got taken by that bastard on August 19th 1992, when our house was set on fire. I ran for my life once papa told me to and after two days of being a street kid, I ended up on a doorstep of a couple who were older than mama and papa but they looked after me and brought me up. I did karate and ballet all through my childhood because you used to do it. You were the person I looked up to, even though you hadn't come and found me. I assumed the man I saw take you had killed you. I never gave up searching. " Tears have begun to spill over, but it's not impairing her story telling. I am totally sucked in, not knowing at all what comes next or how she got here but I'm engrossed in her tale, regardless of if she's my sister or not it's still interesting.

"When I was 14 I learned about this green eyed, redheaded assassin and I thought nothing of it until I saw her face two years later. One bad photo was all it took. I kept looking for you. Always. Then you disappeared and the killings stopped. One day years later, I saw the man who took you walking down the road. I followed him back to his base thing where he realised I was. "Natalia!" He cried and I knew it was definitely him and definitely you. I told him that I wasn't you but the one he left behind and asked where you were. He eventually said "America with those S.H.I.E.L.D. bastards. So I went back to the house and watched and most of Budapest was blown up... And I saw you again." She hiccups from the crying, and her voice wavers as if she's about to begin to sob. However she doesn't.

The next year the man who took me in died of old age. His wife followed two months later. Three years after, I saw you on tv, with all these Avenger creeps in New York, so I gathered all the money I could, and bought a plane ticket to New York. I've lived on the streets ever since then, searching for this S.H.I.E.L.D. but it was hard to find. There was this guy a couple of days ago and I err... May have had a dispute with me anyway, he said he was shield and eventually brought me here from New York and I was so like, "YES! S.H.I.E.L.D.! That I didn't care I'd been captured. And now you're here and you don't believe me and it's just like my lifelong goal has been failed... Я люблю тебя, Алия" _I love you, Alia_. No one knew about Eva's nickname for me, Alia. She begins to sob into her hands, keeping her distance from me. I reach out to hug her, and although the movement seems foreign its almost like a language that hasn't been spoken in a long time, a little rusty but the gist of it is there.

"Я тоже тебя люблю, Аня. Я тоже тебя люблю " _I love you too, Anya. I love you too._


	3. Chapter 3

_Shout out to Jo-Jo287 for reviewing._

_I still haven't done a disclaimer. I don't own anything 'cept Eva. Done. Also I'm going back to school on Thursday (sadface) so the updates are probably going to go down to once a week, especially when the cross country season kicks in and I'll be running five kilometres around a muddy field every Saturday. Anyway, here's chapter three:_

"What's in your locket?" I ask a couple of days later while I'm 'interrogating' her. Fury's given me two hours each day, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, but I only have another week until they take her to the Fridge. Permanently. I guess I'll have to tell Fury soon, but I can't... not yet. And he hasn't even asked about my progress yet. Usually it would take a day or a few to get any thing out of anyone, longer if they're trained.

I got one of the people I'm acquainted with down in the labs to do a DNA test the other day, telling Fury that the Agent Harvey needed to assess her. I knew it would come out as a match, but I needed to check. This actually is Eva Anastasia Romanova, my little sister who should have died twenty two years ago.

"Umm..." She replies, looking slightly embarrassed. Eva unclasps the chain and takes it off. She puts it in to my hand, inviting me to open it. I try to open it, and fail. Her nimble fingers quickly open it and give it back to me. There's two photos, one on each side. One is of a man and a woman, who I assume were her surrogate parents and then on the other side, there's an older one of my parents, her and... me, I guess. I mean, this girl has my face, but she's so small, so innocent. I snap the locket back shut and hand it back to Eva.

"I can remember everything, Alia. Every single fucking thing. Every night, I see the fire, I hear the screams of Mama and Papa dying. I know it's my fault-" I cut her off quickly.

"Nothing is your fault. Never blame it on yourself. Petrovitch set that fire. It's his fault. He took me, ruined my life and yours too. And in some ways it's my fault. If I had never been seen by him, we would probably still be in Russia, living happy lives." These things I have contemplated for a long time, and although it's good to say the words, to vent them out of my system, it seems a little hypocritical. Telling my sister not to blame things on herself and then blaming things on myself, not good.

"Alia.. you shouldn't blame it on yourself either. But you've changed. A lot. As you would in twenty years. But what's happened to you?" Too much. Not just too much. Too much evil, hurt and pain.

"I've become an assassin." And that's the terrifying reality of it. I've become just as bad as the person who killed our parents- who I thought had killed Eva. I've killed children in a fire. Sick, ill children and their families who were already in hospital. I've tried to kid myself ever since that they were going to die anyway, but their families weren't. They would have had hopes and ambitions, goals to achieve and now they'll never get to achieve them.

"But what happened to you? You can't have just 'become an assassin' overnight. And how did you end up here. I've told you all about me... What about you?" She's right of course. I should tell her, to return the favour, but I can't inflict pain upon someone like that. I eventually told Clint, but he's live though pain like I have.

"I'm not going in to detail because although you would probably say that you could handle it, you couldn't. And I wouldn't be able to handle it either. So here's the abridged version. I was born in 1988, in Volograd in Russia. Two years later, my little sister was born. I had a perfect life with loving parents until I was six, when my parents and sister died in a fire, and I was kidnapped by the firestarter. I guess you could say it was like a school to begin with. They taught us languages, how to remember things, how to assemble and disassemble guns and other weapons. They were heavy on the physical fitness side of things, making sure we were ready for the combat training that came later. Two years after I began that life I could speak fluent English. That was also the day I realised the were giving us steroids. At first I thought it was to make us strong but it wasn't only that. It was to prep us for... brain washing but only to make us see things their way... I still had my memories if I thought about them hard enough.

After that the combat training began, and the lessons on how to kill people. When I was twelve I left the compound for the first time in eight years. I got the information and revived no punishment. It was at this time they started to kill the ones that failed. When I was fourteen I killed a man for the first time. By the time I was fifteen I was the only one in the black widow program who hadn't been killed. However, the next year I knew I had to get out of there. Either by dying or running away. I ran away two years later when I became a freelance assassin, doing jobs to earn money. Two years later my now boyfriend found me in a dark place, where I asked him to kill me, and he brought me in to S.H.I.E.L.D. A couple of months later I cracked and became an agent. Six years ago, so when I was twenty two, my boyfriend became my boyfriend on a rather dodgy mission that I'd rather not talk about, not just because I can't remember most of it, given I was shot and passed out from blood loss in the middle of the years ago the Avengers happened, and I made friends for one of the first times in my life. Recently nothing's really happened except finding out my sister's actually still alive." I finish and look at her expecting her to at least look like she hates me. Instead she looks sympathetic.

"Alia... I'm so sorry I should have looked harder... found you earlier..." She whispers, utterly confusing me.

"What?"

"All this time I thought my life was bad and I was really just being a a little brat I'm such a bad sister."

"You can't say that, I didn't even look for you. And there's nothing to be sorry for. I've been there, done it and nothing can change the past." I look at my watch, swear, tie her back up and preceed to ask her question that I already know the answer to. Only this time it's not a guard that comes and gets me, it's Fury.

"Romanoff, you've got a mission." I leave the room silently, and once I'm behind the director I shrug at Eva. I guess I'll see her in a couple of days.


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks again to Jo-Jo287 for reviewing!_

_A/N Just a little update on my life: the hell that we all call school started back up today and I am so tired, have a headache and my feet are bleeding from the shoes. And I wonder why I hate it. _

_About the story: so__ here we enter in to the wonderful world of **Captain America: The Winter Soldier**. I'm not doing every scene that Natasha's in, only the ones that are relevant to the plot, but the ones that I don't do** still happen.** I'm going to change a few of the lines and add some extra in. But you'll read that soon so on with the chapter and don't forget to review!_

A couple of minutes later I go and pick up Cap. I know where he is. Aside from training newbies, I'm also trailing Cap around a bit. Only to make sure he fits in to modern day society, of course. At this time, he's probably running so I send him a text. 'Mission Alert. Extraction Imminent. Meet at the curb. :)' I don't know why I add the smiley face. Maybe it's to make it seem like it's from me, not a S.H.I.E.L.D. computer. Anyway, no matter why I have, I've sent it. I've done a couple of missions with him since New York and he's alright, though he doesn't quite get my way of doing things, and hates some of my methods.

I pick him up, after finding him with a friend. He's not fitting in to the world very well, so this has to be good for him. We drive to the hangar where we wait for the STRIKE team that will be accompanying us to retrieve the hostages off the ship. We all clamber aboard the jet and sit in silence until Rumlow sees fit to go through what happened with us. Captain Rogers makes up a plan, just off the top of his head, but that's in his nature, and they usually work.

"Alright, I'm gonna sweep the deck and find Batroc, Nat you kill the engines and wait for instructions." He says more but I don't hear it. How dare he call me Nat! Only Clint can call me that, and yes sometimes he does it publicly, but he knows never to on missions, and he's gained my trust to be able to call me that. And Tasha, but no one knows that. Eva can call me Alia, but she's my little sister. Maybe Nat too, but again she's my little sister, and although I might not trust her completely, I trust her a lot more than Rogers. Besides, Cap should know better than that, I've only attacked Tony a few hundred times for attempting to give me nicknames. However instead of losing my cool, ask him if he did anything fun on Saturday night.

* * *

Fury's dead, and The Winter Solider killed him. I shouldn't have let myself be persuaded to stop looking for him when Clint tried to stop me those years ago. Yes, Rogers may not think the director was all that, but I understand- understood- him. All his 'compartmentalization' and wanting to be the shield that protected people. He gave me a chance, a small chance when I should have been killed, and many people would have killed me. And now he's dead.

After seeing his body lying there, cleaned up with his eye patch and all, with Steve and Maria standing behind me, I run out. Neither of them can see me cry. I'm supposed to be the Black Widow. The one with no emotions. And Rogers will probably 'accidentally' mention it to Stark and I'll never hear the end of it. Cap tries to talk to me and for once I'm glad Rumlow's around. I get the USB out of the vending machine. I don't know why he hid it there. Does he like pink hubba bubba? It's not my favourite, but some days, I'll chew anything.

I don't know why, but I find myself in the holding cells of S.H.I.E.L.D. Getting there through the vents, I drop down in to Eva's cell. S.H.I.E.L.D. are so stupid, putting vents in cells. Not only could the prisoners get out, but I can get in and they'd never even notice. Eva looks worried the second I drop in with mascara dripping down my face. "Alia, what's wrong? Calm down... Tell me.." She continues to whisper soothing words until I can speak.

"Fury's dead..." I whisper, and once I've said it, the realization dawns on me that it's not some rumour, intended to scare someone, but that it's actually true and the man that gave me a chance at being a better assassin than I was, one who although killed, killed the evil people, not the ones trying to save lives, it's true that he has died. She looks confused, because at times I've confessed that I'd been annoyed by him, the 'stupid pirate' I think I called him. "He gave me a chance." We sit in silence for a few minutes, before I realise that I have to pick myself up, like I did after Coulson was killed two years ago and carry on with the mission I've been assigned. Eva tries to stop me leaving, and I tell her that if someone tries to make her leave the cell she should escape through the vents and hide. I give her my address and an apartment key, and leave for the hospital. I hope she's alright.

I chew some pink hubba bubba to take my mind off her.

* * *

New Jersey is not really a place people go for their honeymoons, Cap. I wouldn't want to go there anyway. The person who developed this drive may be slightly smarter than me, but they're definitely a lot smarter than him. Sorry, Cap.

He's really bad at the spy-on-the-run thing. And I think he can tell. Still, he questions everything that I tell him. Put your arm around me. Why? Somehow, and I don't know how, with about six S.H.I.E.L.D. STRIKE teams trying to find us, we make it to the escalator. Then I see Rumlow coming up it. "Kiss me." I don't want to do this but I have to. He looks confused so I explain my thought process. "Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable."

"Yes," He replies, "They do." I then kiss him, and feel terrible about it. I've used this as a distraction technique before, but only with Clint. I don't feel comfortable doing this with Cap, and I don't think he is either. As soon as we're past Rumlow, I break away and turn around, walking down the escalator.


	5. Chapter 5

_Shoutouts to Jo-Jo287 and Sailorraven34 for reviewing!_

_A/N So I've come to the conclusion that this fic should reach about twenty chapters, maybe slightly less. And that's all I really have to say so enjoy and don't forget to reveiw!_

We reach Sam's house in the morning. I don't know how Cap got us out, the last thing I remember is a building exploding. When we reach his running partners house I think I say something like, "Everyone we know us trying to kill us." But my thoughts wander and I know that isn't true. Maybe for Cap, but I'm willing to bet Clint, Eva, and even Stark aren't trying to kill me. Still it sounds more effective as 'everyone' than 'everyone except'.

Sam has a nice house, and a nice shower which I make good use of. I'm sitting on the bed when Steve comes to talk to me. I've been absentmindedly fiddling with that stupid arrow necklace Clint got me for Christmas, the one I can't seem to take off. "What's going on?" He asks.

What is going on? So much is going on. HYDRAs appearance, Eva's reappearance, Fury's death, that I don't know where Clint is... so much, none of which I really feel the need to share. "When I first joined S.H.I.E.L.D. I thought I was going straight, but I guess I just traded in the KGB for HYDRA. I thought I knew who's lies I was telling but I guess I can't tell the difference anymore." That's sort of true, isn't it? Maybe it's not the whole reason I seem off, but it's a chunk, a large one.

"There's a chance you might be in the wrong business" Steve tells me. He's right. There is a chance. Had I not had my house burned down as a child, I might have become a famous ballet dancer or even a teacher, helping people or entertaining them. No, instead I'm killing them.

"Cap, there's something I need to tell you..." He nods in a, go on, sort of way. "When I worked for the KGB, I had many instructors. One who trained me probably the least, it was for about eight months,... He had a metal arm, with a red star tattooed on to the metal, something every Red Room agent got when they pledged their allegiance at twenty one. I escaped before then. Anyway, He was known to everyone as the Winter Soldier to everyone on those bases. Except me. I got to know him as James, he showed me around, and not only taught me to fight, but how to stand up for myself. That was when I was fifteen, and yes I'll admit it now, I was a little bit in love, but back then love was for children. Always and only children. Then they took him away and messed his brain up so he became a killing machine with no memory of me. So I moved to a different base and never saw him again until he shot the engineer through me. But I do know that the KGB rented him out to other organizations, and they've probably rented him out to HYDRA." Steve nods, taking it all in. I've probably never talked so much to him in my life. He doesn't say anything, but what is there to say? I've had a terrible life, but he can't be sorry for that, it's not his fault.

After a brief pause I realize something. "I owe you." There's another debt that I'm never going to repay. Cap is more likely than Clint to tell me that it's nothing or I don't have to do anything for him, but in my brain it's like scales that I can never balance.

"Okay." That's all he replies. Then again, what can he?

"If it was the other way around and it was down to me to save your life, now you be honest with me, would you trust me to do it?" I can feel my necklace swinging as I lean forwards and backwards, knowing that he'll probably say no, because I wouldn't trust myself to save anyone's life.

He surprises me. "I would now. And I'm always honest. " Maybe he understands the debt thing I seem to have a problem with.

There's another brief silence while I think of something to say. "Well you seem pretty chipper for someone who just found out they died for nothing." Why did I bring that topic back up? I know we're running for our lives and everything but at this guy's house, can't I just pretend that we're at a friend's place to stay? No, not only because I don't have any friends, but also no one that I'd be there with. Except Clint. And we co-own the houses we have, so it would be like staying at my own house.

"Well I guess I just like to know who I'm fighting." This guy always knows what to say doesn't he? Is there super serum for that too?

Suddenly his friend, Sam, interrupts. "I made breakfast if you guys eat that sorta thing" I'm so thankful at his light humour and for getting me out of that awkward room with Rogers.

* * *

Cap's saying stuff about his friend, Bucky, who was my friend, James. So he's connected to both of us, and he can't remember anything.

"GSW, She's lost at least a pint." I think it's Maria that says that but I'm not sure. Things are sort of spinning and I can only concentrate on the pain in my shoulder. There's some conversation, then I'm sure I hear Hill say, "She'll want to see him first." Is it Clint? It must be, she's one of the only few... only one left that knows about our relationship. I walk down to a room with the others, and it isn't Clint, but I'm almost as glad to see director Fury there... alive? I'm sure I'm hallucinating now.

* * *

Those things sting like hell, I can still feel the effects of it. "Please tell me you got that chopper in the air." Sam says over the communication system to us in the helicopter. Pierce is dead, by the way. And I've got changed. How do people wear those disgusting suits, with skirts too?

"Sam where are you?" I ask, knowing that if he's contacted us he's probably in trouble.

"41st floor north west corner." Wilson shouts and there's sounds of breaking glass behind him.

"We're on it. Stay where you are" Then I see the insight helicarrier smashing into the side of the building and realize.

"Not an option." And I can tell why. He falls in the helicopter, and would have gone out the other side had I not caught him. "41st floor, 41st." He winces.

"It's not like they put the floor numbers on the outside of the building." Fury retorts flying away from the destroyed helicarrier. Then I remember something.

"SHIT" I scream. "LAND FURY I NEED TO GET INSIDE!" He flies down to the ground, or he tries to and when we get near enough I jump, and run inside, down the stairs because waiting for the elevator would take too long, down to the cells, where I find Eva struggling to reach the vent. All this time I have Fury and Wilson in my ear asking me why I went and where I am now. I can't tell them so I just turn it off, but I don't throw it away because I'll have to talk to them later.

"Anya, are you okay?" I ask unlocking the door with a key I picked off one of the guards.

She nods, "I heard Captin Rogers speech and I wanted to fight for S.H.I.E.L.D. but I couldn't get out." Idiot. She didn't didn't use her bed to climb up. I tell her that she should have and run out with her, asking if she's still got my apartment key. She does so I take her there and tell her that I'll catch up with her later.

I get back to S.H.I.E.L.D. where Fury, Wilson and Hill are looking for Steve. I can't believe he gave his life again against HYDRA. Let's hope they're actually gone now. Hang on a sec, I can't believe it because it's not true... he's over there. I shout to the others and Fury races in the helicopter over there and then I think he takes him straight to the hospital, leaving the rest of us to follow.

Once there, I leave saying I have some stuff to do. I'm almost in the car park, where I would 'borrow' a car, when Fury catches up with me.

"Where did you go?" I know when he means and he knows that.

"I think you'd better come with me." I whisper. During the car ride, I try and prepare him, but I fail mainly. I think I utter that I'm sorry a few times, Maybe I didn't mean it, but honesty I'm not too sure.

Eva's there, pacing around, no doubt wondering if she should help in some way. Fury and I walk in and he says, rather loudly, "What is she doing here?"

Shrugging my shoulders, I look back at him and say, "She's my sister... I'm sorry sir." He raises and eyebrow back at me and turns away.

"You know, Romanoff, it's good that there's a little happiness in the world. Barton's in Germany, and since S.H.I.E.L.D. No longer exists, his mission is no longer a mission. Make sure Rogers is awake before you go, he probably has some questions for you, about his friend and I'm not telling anyone about... your sister." I nod.

"Thank you for everything sir. For giving me, and Barton, a chance." I should say more, but I'm a woman of few words and he knows that.

"I'll see you soon." He nods.


	6. Chapter 6

_Shoutouts to Jo-Jo287 and Sailorraven34 for the reviews!_

_A/N Hello again. In case you're all wondering (which you probably aren't) I passed my cross country trial. Now I have to convince myself it's fun running through muddy fields on saturdays. Actually that reminds me I've got training in an hour. Quite a conversation based chapter. Sorry. Please review!_

The next day, I go and visit Cap in hospital, leaving Eva at home. She's 26 so I can leave her home alone right? Cap's awake when I get there, listening to that troubleman soundtrack by Marvin Gaye. "Boys," I nod taking a seat. "What's up?"

"The ceiling..." Steve croaks and cracks a smile. I assume that's his attempt at humour.

"Good..." Sam shrugs. "Natasha, why did you jump out the helicopter yesterday?"

"She jumped out of a helicopter?" Steve asks.

"I... Will tell you guys someday soon, just not right now." I'm not telling anyone about Eva unless she's there. I talk with mainly Sam for a bit as Cap's a bit croaky, until I have to leave to go speak with people that I don't really want to. Later on, I get home and Eva's lying on my couch sleeping. I drape a blanket over her small frame and drop the bag of clothes I picked up for her on the floor, pausing whatever movie she was watching before she fell asleep. I still can't believe I have a sister. One that's alive anyway. I finally have something for myself, something that other people can know about.

When I wake in the morning, I reach over and hug the person next to me... except that it's not Clint. It's Eva... I get up, shower, dress and begin eating some cereal with probably too much sugar in. Eva joins me still looking half asleep and in yesterday's clothes about halfway through. "What's planned for today oh wise one?" She asks and I raise my eyebrow leaning back.

"Well I have to try and find a highly classified file which will probably be kept in a highly secret place of my enemies. Other than that I'm free. What do you want to do, young one?" Steve asked me for it yesterday. I owe him, and I won't ever stop, so this is a favour I'll have to honour.

"I'll help you." That's surprising I thought she'd want to go shopping or do some other teenagery thing, then I remember I missed all her teenage years.

In the end, it only takes a day to get the file. Eva handles all the phone calls and I pull in a few favours from Russia and Ukraine. My contact says someone will drop it off tomorrow, late afternoon. The work is tiring and Eva falls asleep on the keyboard twice. The second time I take her to bed. In the future I can really see her and Clint getting on. They have the same sense of humour and sarcasm, whereas mine is a little different. I can also see them ganging up on me which is unfortunate.

The file is delivered by spies the next day. It's thick and its of Bucky, Steve's friend, The Winter Solider. Eva and I hide out in my apartment watching movies all day. "Why do you have so many movies?" She asks, "It's not like you're ever here. You're always in like Germany or Budapest or your boyfriend, who I am really doubting exits, house."

"Maybe I collect movies. And my boyfriend lives here if you don't believe look in the draws." She races to my bedroom and comes back after finding that indeed, Clint's clothes are here.

"When am I going to meet him?" She whines, like she can't wait.

"Well tomorrow I'll give this to Cap and say bye to him and Falcon, text Fury, then we can leave. So probably tomorrow. I probably will have to talk Fury in to lending me a jet though..."

* * *

The next day I call Fury who says that the usual jet is waiting for me at a secret base, and that he's meeting Rogers in the graveyard. I take Eva and set off in my car for where Fury and Coulson are buried. Fury's just leaving as I arrive.

"... Tell em they can find me right here." I walk in to the graveyard, Eva flanking my left shoulder. It's a nice day and also the first time I've seen Fury's grave. His over exuberant grave.

"You should be honoured that's as close as he gets to saying thank you." I tell them walking over. Both of them look confused at the sight of someone with me, but Steve takes the lead in the conversation, wanting to continue about Fury while we're on the topic.

"You're not going with him?" He asks. Maybe he assumes I would because I'm S.H.I.E.L.D. through and through. But I'm not going with him.

"Nope. Not with him." I reply.

"Europe though?" Clever this one.

"There's an agent on a deep undercover mission in Germany who told me before he left that if anything significant happened I should go and get him. It's not Loki but... Hydra's quite significant... Also his mission technically no longer exists as it was a S.H.I.E.L.D. op and S.H.I.E.L.D. no longer exists."

"I'm taking that it's Agent Barton?" I nod.

"Sorry, but who's the little girl?" Sam asks, letting his curiosity get the better of him.

"I am NOT little! I am twenty six thank you very much!" I warned Eva in the car about embarrassing me, I really hope this is the extent of it.

"Feisty... So who is she?" Falcon, I forbid you to fall in love with my sister.

"The reason I jumped out the helicopter... And since I'm leaving today I thought I'd better tell you. Steve, Sam meet Eva, my baby sister." I hold my hand out as if they couldn't guess who it was. Well it's not me or them so it must be... (wait, I can't guess who) her.

"I am not a baby..." She growls under her breath.

"Since when do you have a sister?" Since before you were born, Falcon. Actually probably not. Sam's probably my age.

"Since I was two years old... Then I thought she died, then it turned out she didn't, but I met her again for the first time since I was six about three weeks ago."

"You have an interesting life story that I would one day like to learn." Cap, you do not want to know what's happened to me. I've been working to try and get if off the internet but I can't exactly classify it now, can I?

"Well it's all on the internet, if you really want. But you don't want to know. The rundown is kidnapping at the age of six, brainwashing, steroids, serum like you, Cap, assassinations from when I was fourteen, and a prisoner of S.H.I.E.L.D. eight years ago."

"I'm sorry, Natasha, I really am." Steve look seems genuine, and he knows pain so can relate.

"Do any of you folks know who her boyfriend is, because she won't tell me." No Eva, they don't. And they never will. Shut up about my personal life, these are my colleagues.

"Ева заткнуться, только три человека знают и два из них лежат в этом кладбище." Russian is a lovely language to be annoyed in.

"What did she say?" Nosey aren't you Falcon. Maybe I said I hate falcon and he should leave. I didn't though.

"Word for word, 'Eva shut up, only three people know and two of them lie in this cemetery.' But who's that?"

"Fury and... Coulson? Hill's probably the third." Cap you are too clever. Of course why wouldn't I trust the highest agents who are known for keeping secrets and some days I partially tolerate.

"I'm not telling you who my boyfriend is Eva!" Please can we get off this topic and leave my private life alone?

"Wait, Stark's jokes about baby Blackhawk's... It's him isn't it? You trust him with everything so he should know if it wasn't him." Rogers, you may be from the dark ages and you might be clever but just shut up!

"Barton has the brain of a five year old child why would I date him? Also I never confirmed it was Hill. Anyway I only put up with him because I owe him a debt I can never repay. And right at the minute, same with you Rogers." Reasons... He has the brain of a five year old child, and love is for children. So we're children together.

"Burn..." Thanks little sis. Awkward silence there.

"That thing you asked for... I called in a few favours from Kiev..." I hold out the file. "Will you do me a favour call that nurse?" If he's going to live in the modern world he needs to date. Even I'm doing it.

"She's not a nurse." Wow Rogers, finally figured it out?!

"And you're not a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent." Because S.H.I.E.L.D. No longer exists.

"What was her name again?" Jeez someone has short term memory problems.

"Sharon, she's nice. Be careful Steve might not wanna pull on that thread. Bye Cap. See you Wilson." I put my arm around Eva and lead her back to the car.


	7. Chapter 7

_Shoutouts to Jo-Jo287 and Sailorraven34 for the reviews!_

_A/N Hi. Nothing to say. Enjoy._

The hangar is empty, except for one plane which Hill is leaning against. She gives me the coordinates of the safe house where Clint is most likely to be hiding out, and says that there should be a large patch of land to touch down next to it. I climb aboard the usual quinjet, a little sad to see all the S.H.I.E.L.D. signs painted out, and teach Eva the few controls she hopefully won't need; forwards, backwards, brake, radio, turn and eject seats. She grasps it easily and although it's only a few controls she does them pretty well.

Over the ocean, I set us in to autopilot mainly so can free my hands. Eva decides that flying no longer requires my full concentration an d takes the opportunity to ask me a load of quick fire questions that she hasn't gotten round to asking me yet. After answering most of them as truthfully as I can, Eva asks if she can ask two more. I reply with the smart arse answer of 'You just did,' and give my permission for her to ask two more.

"Why did you change your name to Natasha Romanoff?" That's her question? Hang on, I know what's coming next.

I reply, "So it seemed like I was becoming more Americanized. And because Natalia held so many bad memories." That actually is 100% true. Wow, I'm not telling anyone's lies.

"Can I change mine?" NO! I LOVE YOUR NAME! Please keep it!

"Eva is pretty American, but what to? Then I'll decide if you can." She'll convince me though. I know that she'll win me over eventually though.

"Anya Romanoff." She says without hesitation.

"But I thought I called you Anya and you liked me doing it?"

"That's why I want everyone else to do it too." Smart arse.

"To hell with it. I'll still call you Eva from time to time though. I'll do the papers, and get you're American citizenship done when we get back."

She smiles widely. "Thanks, Alia. Now, after I've met your boyfriend when am I going to meet Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, the Hulk and Hawkeye?"

"The guy in the cemetery was Cap. Last I heard Thor was living with his girlfriend in London, Hulk was in South America, Hawkeye you'll meet eventually and we'll probably crash at Starks place in New York after we pick up this agent."

"The agent who's your boyfriend. Okay. What's-" I cut her off. I know she's my sister and all, but one more question and I will attack her.

"No more questions please Ev-Anya. Talk about your life. Did you ever have a boyfriend?" She pauses for a couple of minutes, long enough for me to think that she's not answering at all. I'm lost in thought picking out shapes in the clouds, the one that looks like a turtle is particularly captivating, when she finally answers.

"Yes, yes I did." Past tense? That doesn't sound so good.

"What was he like?" I have an entitlement to be nosy after her questions.

That stupid starry look crosses her eyes. "He was perfect. Everything I ever dreamed of, bought me flowers, watched movies with me... I thought I loved him so much."

"Well what happened?"

"I told him I was leaving Russia and he told me that he was leaving me. Boys are backstabbers." Maybe I shouldn't have gone there.

We sit in silence pondering over our thoughts, staring at the thin layer of cloud beneath us. I hope the little of Germany I will see will be nice. Knowing Europe, and especially in April, it'll most likely be raining. I wonder about this boyfriend of hers. From the sounds of it, he broke her heart and it hasn't healed yet.

We land in Germany next to the safe house Hill was talking about. I lock Ev-Anya in the plane with a phone, a portable DVD player and a blanket, she says she can't read English but I think she just doesn't want to read a book. Kids these days. Venturing out by myself, I find the front door of the house and use the knock Clint and I always do on missions. Although I hear some kind of movement, the door doesn't open so I pull out a gun and kick it down. At the end of the corridor, Clint is mirroring my stance. We both drop our guns and I run to him, engaging in a passionate kiss. He's hurt, and that I can tell straight away. A bullet wound he's sewn up himself in the front of his thigh. "Why're you here, Tasha?" He whispers, carrying a crying me in his strong arms to the couch, "Why's there been radio silence from S.H.I.E.L.D. for six days? What's the matter? Why're you crying?"

"I'm so sorry, Clint, I'm so sorry... It's all my fault." All the emotions that I've had locked up inside of me for the last week come flushing out of my eyes in the forms of tears that could fill a river.

"Tasha, nothing's your fault. What happened?"

"S.H.I.E.L.D. No longer exists, Clint... Fury's got a grave next to Coulson that he's not even lying in. Cap almost died, I-I" I can't carry on. I can't tell him that the world now knows everything he's tried to hide, can I?

"Tash, it's fine, just tell me what you did..." I can see the shock on his face that S.H.I.E.L.D. is gone, and that Cap almost died. And Fury. They are like the two humans that can never die.

"Clint, I'm so sorry, I thought it was the only way. I d-didn't mean for this to happen... I released all of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s files on to the internet..." I break down sobbing as Clint takes my phone from my hand and opens the internet. It's already on his name.

After a few minutes he puts the phone down and says, "Tasha. It's not your fault. You did what you had to do. Everyone we care about is still alive, and by all this being online, everyone can see exactly how much pain we've had to endure. I love you, Tash, I love you so much."

"I love you too, Clint..." I whisper.

_A/N So Clint's back. Thoughts?_

_Now excuse me while I go and make notes from 14 pages of an R.S textbook._


	8. Chapter 8

_Shoutouts to Jo-Jo287, Ealasaid Una and Sailorraven34 for reviewing!_

_A/N. Hope the fast update is welcomed. I'll try to do it again sometime. I had something really important to say and I've forgotten it. Typical. Also, Tony Stark. Wonderful man. This chapters not my best work I think, but let me know what you think!_

After I've cleaned myself up, and Clint's got his stuff together, I decide that it would probably be best to warn him about Anya before we get in to the jet. I hug him gently, minding the leg wound he has acquired. Despite me not really being a huggy person, Clint Barton is one man who is very huggable. And he's just the right height to rest his chin on my head too. "Clint, there's something else I need to tell you." I say looking up.

He thinks it's something bad, and in a way it is. "What is it, Nat?"

"You know when you first brought me in to S.H.I.E.L.D. And you asked if I had a family, and I said they were presumed dead?" Clint nods, and I can see he's thinking that my parents are still alive. "My sister's waiting in the jet."

Clint looks thoroughly confused. "But you don't have a sister, Tasha."

"I do. She's called Anya and she's quite small and quite annoying." A truthful description. She's smaller than me, and I'm small, and her questions would begin to annoy anyone soon enough.

"I want to meet her." He says with that grin on his face, that I know I shouldn't introduce them because they'll just gang up against me.

"Well if you want to get back to the U.S. you're gonna have to." I reply leading him out the door, but he stops.

"Wait she's here?"

"Yeah..." He nods slowly. "Well come on then let's go see her, then we can crash at Stark's on the way back." I lead him round the back of the house where the plane is. We climb aboard and see Eva sitting there under the blanket, sleeping with her mouth open. I smile and whisper, "Ignore her, we haven't slept since... A bit ago." As I say this Clint automatically takes the pilot's seat, presuming I'm too tired to be allowed to drive. I'm not, but I won't argue with him.

We take off almost straight away, and while we fly over western Europe, Clint and I catch up. He's been up to quite a bit and completed his mission three days ago. I tell him more of the details about the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. And all that. As we reach the ocean, Anya decides to wake up. Quickly, she sees Clint and that we're flying, and says, " Oh my God you're her boyfriend! Tell me all about yourself. Do you really love her or do you pretend to for the sex? Do you-"

"ANYA!" I cannot believe she would say that about me or Clint. How dare she even suggest that? Or even just talk about my sex life? And why would that be the question she goes for first? Not even his name?

"What it was a legitimate question. Anyway, she won't tell me your name, what is it?" You are too nosey for your own good little sis, and one day it might not be a good thing. And in which life is talking about my sex life a legitimate question?!

"Clint, but call me Barton. And yes, I only pretend to love her for the sex- it's fab, she really knows how to-" CLINTON FRANCIS BARTON, WHAT THE HELL!?

"LA LA LA LA LA NOT LISTENING!" I scream. Why the hell did I introduce these two? They're gonna be at it forever.

"In all seriousness, I love my Tasha. She's everything I ever wanted and more. I don't know if she loves me as much as I love her but... Words cannot express my love."

"Sap." I retort. He leans over to kiss me, but forgets his hands are still controlling the plane, which turns us on our side. Thankfully, we're all strapped in so no one's hurt.

"Tasha, I've just proclaimed my true love that I have for you, and you're calling me a sap. You know, sometimes I wonder if I am actually loved." Anya nods in agreement. Trust her to side against me.

"You guys are going to gang up on me, aren't you?"

"I thought that was why you introduced us." I roll my eyes and lean back in the seat. "Go to sleep, Tasha, we'll be fine." So I do just that. Assassins have to be alert.

When I wake, the skyline of New York is in sight which means I've had a decent amount of sleep. Clint's landing on Stark's jet pad momets later. Before I let Anya unstrap, I give her a good talking to about Stark and how he must not under any circumstances find out that Clint and I are together. I also forewarn her about JARVIS as that might come as a surprise to her.

Tony's standing out there, probably to see who's using his jet pad. "Ahh, Blackhawk!" He greets us, "How nice it- Wait, who's this?"

"Long story short, This is my sister, Anya."

"YOU HAVE A SISTER?!" Wow. Normally he takes surprises in his stride. His eyebrows are through the roof.

"Yeah.. Anya, this is Tony Stark AKA Iron Man."

"Or Mr Awesome. Oh, and assassins, I've deleted all your S.H.I.E.L.D. stuff from the internet, because I was feeling nice earlier. I've saved a copy of everything, don't worry." I nod. We venture inside. It's nice being back here again, the Tower. Tony welcomed us after The Battle of New York, and when he remodeled the Tower, he built us each a just under Clint's, and his is at the top, which Tony thought was a bit of a joke, to give him a 'bird's eye view'. But Clint loves it.

Tony agrees to take Anya on a grand tour, so Clint and I travel up to his floor. "He's reading through them all, isn't he?" Clint asks rhetorically.

"Of course he is. Didn't you see the pained look he gave us? If he's going from recent to old, he's probably going to be reaching before S.H.I.E.L.D. soon, and we'll definitely be getting questions about that. I don't think I can handle them knowing about my past. They'll treat me like I'm fragile, say I shouldn't fight, or just avoid me. Treat me like I'm too far gone." I know they will. Because whatever they've gone through, it's nothing compared to me and Clint. Stuck in Afghanistan for three months? That nothing. Frozen for 70 years? It can't be hard to catch up. Turning in to a monster? At least no one messes with you. And having a psychopathic brother? He's in prison and you're a fucking Prince.

"You're not too far gone Tasha. I still believe in you." Clint's voice brings me back down to earth. But he only believes in me because he's gone through things just as bad.

"Thanks Clint." He goes in for the kiss but stops as we hear voices down the hall. I rush up in to the vents, Tony can't see me here. And while I'm up here partially having a panic attack, Clint stays calm cool and collected.

"Oh, hi Anya, Tony. It's been a while since I've been here, I want to get reacquainted with the room, ya know." He has a shit eating grin on his face, and suddenly so do I, once I know what he's suggesting. Tony and Anya leave soon enough, and quickly I drop back down from the vents.

I raise my eyebrows suggestively, "Want to do some of that reaquainting now, Hawkeye?"

I really hope Anya doesn't need me anytime soon.


	9. Chapter 9

_Thanks to Sailorraven34 for the reveiw!_

_A/N Note for the chapter: No, I didn't get "it's okay not to be okay" from that _Jessie J _song, I thought it up, thought it sounded like a quote and looked it up. Personal opinion, so don't hate me: I don't really like_ Jessie J._ Yeah, the stuff I listen to is nothing like _Jessie J_. Just because I'm nosy, please comment down below with the music you listen to, or you think is good. I'm currently listening to _Green Day,_ and I also like _You Me At Six, All Time Low, Mayday Parade_, some _Sleeping with Sirens,_ and a little bit of both _Imagine Dragons_ and _Bastille_. I think that's it. The last three I don't listen to so much, but the first four are my life. I also really like the new _Fall Out Boy_ song, _Centuries_. None of you probably care about this but I'm leaving it in here anyway._

_Also I've never experienced a panic attack per say, but I do have these mental breakdown things that when I've talked to one of my best friends, who regularly experiences panic attacks, about it she said that although it doesn't sound like the same thing, it's not dissimilar._

_Well this was a long A/N. Sorry. On with the chapter and don't forget to comment with the music you like! (Also a bit more cursing than usual up ahead)_

We get takeout pizza for dinner, at Clint's request. He says he needs a proper New York one, and I'm more than happy to agree. We eat in in silence while Anya and Tony make light conversation. They seem to be getting along quite well. After we've eaten, Tony requests that we put on a movie, because Anya hasn't seen a 'classic' that I've never seen either.

It's about halfway through when Clint finally slumps on my shoulder asleep. Anya fell asleep after about fifteen minutes. Stark turns the volume down, and I know he wants to talk to me. "How much have you read?" I sigh, whispering because I know both Clint and Anya don't deserve to be woken up.

"All of it." He mutters, and I realise that it's been a week, and Stark doesn't sleep, and his burning desire to know about my private life must have fuelled him enough to keep going. "I read about the procedures the KGB put you through, Natasha, and I... I thought I had it bad being captured in Afghanistan for a couple of months... but you were captured for ten years. I'm sorry, Natasha, that I've been such a dick to you. You don't deserve it."

"I was finally getting my life back together when it fell apart again. Everything I'd forgotten came back to bite me on the ass. Everything everyone had forgotten about." I reply, wondering why I'm being so open.

"I'm sorry about your past, Natasha, and I hope your future will become better." He tells me honestly, genuinely.

"It looks like it will be. I've got my little sister back, I've got you guys, who I might call friends and I've got Clint. You can't have everything in life, can you?" I say, and I begin to wonder if he's put some truth serum in my drink.

"No... And talking about not having everything, why isn't Budapest on the web?" Ah, about that...

"I... kept up a firewall to keep it hidden. I don't want anyone seeing it. Ever. It was the worst fucking mission in the history of shitty missions."

"Something happened to him didn't it?" He tilts his head to where Clint is lying.

"Do you know that he's 80% deaf?"

"No." He pauses realising what I'm suggesting. "Shit must have gone down."

"Yeah, it did. He doesn't remember any bit of the last week we were there. The stuff he remembers, that was the nice stuff. Before went and got himself fucking captured. I got him out, but not before they took out his hearing and broke his arm. Were about to start cutting off toes when I got there."

"Why are you telling me this? You don't have to give me answers. Especially uncomfortable ones."

"You're a teammate. We should be honest with each other."

"Okay." He nods. "I've been suffering panic attacks since New York. I couldn't sleep. Pep convinced me to go to therapy for a bit. I've never felt so out of control. The thing is, I didn't even get them after Afghanistan. Maybe it's because I knew I needed to make the world better."

"Maybe. It's okay to have nightmares. I do. Clint does. I have them from the second I close my eyes. About every single person I've ever killed. Sometimes I thrash, and its then I have to get woken up, or I start screaming. When no one's around to wake me up, sometimes I wake up on the floor with a cut on my head from banging it off the nightstand." I start fiddling with the necklace Clint gave me for Christmas. "Tony, it's okay not to be okay."

"Is that a quote from somewhere?"

"Maybe. This... whatever this was, is definitely better than the shit S.H.I.E.L.D. calls therapy." We go back to watching the film, and though I was reluctant for Tony to find out about me, so far he seems to be taking it well.

The film ends, and I have no idea what the hell happened, because I think I missed a key scene while talking to Tony. I smile at him and whisper, "G'night. Get some sleep."

"Planning to." He replies. I pick up Anya and take her to my floor, depositing her on my bed. I leave her a note that I'm on the next floor up. I then go back to the TV room and sling Clint's arm around my shoulders, which wakes him up enough to stumble to the elevator. Once we're in his room, he falls face first on to the bed, dead asleep. I change to one of his massive shirts and sweatpants, then crawl under the duvet, falling asleep.

The next morning, as usual, Clint is up before me. He brings me a coffee while I'm still in bed, which is a nice gesture, because usually he makes me do that. I guess I must look really worried because he asks me what's wrong with a concerned look on his face. "I think I did something last night that was very stupid."

"What Tasha? And how didn't I notice? I was there the whole time."

"You and Anya were asleep... So Tony and I started talking about the files... And I might have told him about Budapest. He seemed to take it okay though."

"So what? It wasn't that big of a deal, one only wanted to know because we keep disagreeing on it. Everying will be fine, Tasha. It'll turn out okay." I can hope that he's right.


	10. Chapter 10

_Shout out to Sailorraven34 for reviewing._

_A/N I'm Sorry. Life got in the way. I'll hopefully never leave it that long again._

"Guys, last night I was thinking, and I think it's time to reassemble the Avengers. S.H.I.E.L.D.s collapsed and that means a whole load of prisoners have probably got out. Dangerous ones. One's that might be able to acquire an army and try to take over the world." Tony announces as Clint and I come downstairs for the morning. He's made omelettes, the only thing he's capable of, and that's only because he studied them and made them over and over after his flop he gave to Pepper.

I look at Clint who nods. "Well Thor's in London and that's basically all I know."

"When did he get there? And I can find Bruce." Tony asks. Does this guy not watch the news? Did he not see when the whole darkness shit happened in London?

"You know when Greenwich got ruined by that darkness ship and Thor's girlfriend helped Thor stop him? And I think I know where Cap's going. And I have his phone number." I say.

"Oh I remember that now. And why do you have his phone number?"

"Fury gave me the task of getting him every time he was needed."

"Okay so I'll go to South America and get the green guy, Hawkeye you go to London and get Thor, and his girlfriend if she wants, and Black Widow and Mini Widow will call Cap and then get him. Settled? Good. Breakfast then go." Food always comes first with men, doesn't it?

We eat quickly and leave right after. Eva and I take the jet that we borrowed from Hill yesterday. Clint takes one of Stark's jets, as does Stark himself. Eva and I take off last, for no other reason than that we're only going to D.C. Steve and Sam haven't got fake ID yet, and since we're still wanted fugitives, it would probably be best not to use their normal passports. Also, Cap seems to think that Bucky can't have left the US at least, even if he has left Washington, because he would also need a fake ID, and the metal detectors might not like his metal arm. Good thinking Cap.

I haven't actually told Cap that he's wanted at the Tower, I just said we needed to talk. That's probably a mistake, Steve has a whole vendetta against liars, and a speech which I've head a few too many times. Eva's fairly silent most of the journey, which I expected. The last few days have been a lot to take in, going to new countries, meeting new people, famous people at that. She's rested physically, but mentally not so much. There's only two questions from my curious sister, and unsurprisingly they're both about Tony Stark. The first, why can't he know that Clint and I are together, and the second, how doesn't he know. I give appropriate answers to both, though a sassy one to the second, and Eva goes back in to question hibernation. I'm not exactly one to talk a lot, so I ponder in the silence. Before I know it, the skyline of D.C. is in sight.

As soon as we land in D.C., I call Cap again. He's waiting outside the Smithsonian, with Sam. Once again, I lock Eva in the plane and set out by myself. I walk the route I've recently become familiar with, holding my head down so no one spots me. Believe it or not, I'm fairly recognizable now. He and Sam are just where they said they'd be.

"Hey, Natasha." Sam says as I walk up. "Where's your sister?"

"In the jet. Come on." We can exchange pleasantries later, Falcon. I want to get back to my sister because that D.C. airbase seems very open. I know no one's going to take her, and if someone did she'd put up a fight... but still. Also, why do you care?

"Where are we going? You said you wanted to talk." Steve asks. Time to tell.

"We need to get back to Stark Tower. Avengers meeting. Even Thor's coming." Mentioning Thor makes it seem serious, because that guy used to have to travel between world's to get to meetings. Even if he doesn't anymore, he's still the furthest away.

"Avengers meeting? Am I like an Avenger now?" Sam, being an Avenger isn't a good thing, even Tony admits it. It's horrible to experience the PTSD, and that was only from one battle. Plus, we probably won't get called out again anytime soon.

"Honorary Avenger if you want. Come on." I say just to make him happy. I turn and take a step before Steve's words stop me.

"No, Natasha. I'm staying here and finding Bucky." Captin stubborn, I know you want to see your friend and convince him that he's your friend still, but it wouldn't really be known Avengers meeting without the leader now would it?

"Cap, please. You can find The Winter Soldier afterwards." You've both lived for almost a decade, what's the sudden rush?

"Why are we even meeting Natasha?" That, o most wonderful leader, is a good point. Tony said something about prisoners didn't he? I can make it up from there.

"Because S.H.I.E.L.D.s collapsed, the World Security council are all dead but one, a load of very dangerous prisoners have just got out and are most likely forming an army to get revenge." That was a good excuse.

Falcon agrees. "I gotta admit it man... She has some pretty good reasons."

"One meeting Natasha. One. And then if I don't want to stay, I come back."

I smile, widely and fakely, and lead them through a series of back alleys to the runways to where I left Eva and the jet... except it's open... And she's gone. And there's a note pinned to the wall. It says, "Come and Get her. You know where to find me."


	11. Chapter 11

_Many thanks to Jo-Jo287 for reviewing!_

_A/N Reviews make me happy. Just so you know._

I know I start screaming. I can't hear it but I know that I am. She's gone. Again. Eva has been taken, and I know exactly who's ordered it to be done, because there's no way in hell that I wouldn't recognize that writing. 'Come and get her'. It's obviously a trap, but there's no way I'm going to be able to stop myself from going.

I turn back to Cap and deliver several blows to his chest. He looks at Sam, confused at both me and him, as Sam runs in to the jet and starts looking through the boxes full of anaesthetic, sedatives and other stuff. "IF YOU HADN'T BEEN SO STUBBORN SHE WOULD STILL BE HERE!" I scream at him. I continue to punch him, though I expand to the face too. Surprisingly, he doesn't fight back. Either he knows I need to get out the pain or he's experienced it himself. Maybe both.

The last thought I have is of how angry I am at Rogers, and then I black out.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER?" That's Clint I'm sure. Where am I? The last thing I remember is punching Cap because Anya was...

"Where's the smaller one?" I think that's Tony. Why does he care?

"WHY'S SHE OUT COLD?" Why is Clint so angry?

"She won't be much longer if you keep shouting." That's definitely Bruce, under his breath. He's close to me, probably doing something with the needle in my wrist.

"I don't understand. Is the Lady Widow unwell?" Thor's joined the party! That means everyone else must have gotten back safely. Everyone except... her.

"No, Thor, but our dear Captain Rogers will be dead in a minute." I open my eyes, and Steve looks vaguely scared, but as I go to stand up, I find that I have an IV hooked up to me, and that I can't move. I guess Sam must have knocked me out with a sedative to stop me from attacking Cap.

"Nat, are you okay?" Clint asks, bending down to my height.

"I don't know," I whisper back.

"Where's Anya?" He's known her for a day or two and he is worried about her? That's sweet.

"Gone. Rogers' fault. Shit she's gone. Petrovitch took her. I should have killed him when I left." The realization attacks, like it hasn't yet. Like when you've been shot, but you're high on adrenaline so you can carry on and then it suddenly hits you, when you're at your weakest but you've got to carry on, or you'll die.

"How is it Cap's fault?"

"He was being stubborn. Could have got back earlier." Could've killed Petrovitch and Cap could have met his buddy all in one. So it's backfired on him too.

"I'm going to kill him for you." Please do. But save the last bit for me.

"Be my guest." He gets up and slaps Rogers across the face before stalking out. I pull the needle out of my arm and follow him, not listening as Bruce shouts at me to come back.

Ican'tbreakdown Ican'tbreakdown Ican'tbreakdown Ican'tbreakdown runs through my head over and over as I push open the door to Clint's floor. He's sitting on the loveseat, which is only there because when everyone moved in we all got one, so I go and curl up next to him, laying my head on on his lap. "We need to get out and find her."

"I know. Do we do it just us or get the others to come?" No, they can't come. One it's too dangerous, two they're the reason she got captured in the first place.

"Just us. They're too much of a liability." I reply immediately.

"I have uniforms for both of us in the draws, so we can steal a jet whenever you want."

"Now. Uniforms ASAP." We both pull our uniforms on and load weapons everywhere on our bodies.

"JARVIS, don't tell anyone we've gone unless they ask, and only then after six hours. You can say that we've gone to Russia." I command Stark's AI.

"Of course, Miss Romanoff." Ever so polite.

Clint and I go in to stealth mode to sneak up to Starks jet pad, where we grab the jet I've practically lived in for the past few days. The note is still pinned to the wall, and I promise myself that I'll look over it more carefully as we fly. However, I strap myself down and prepare for take off.

Looking over it, I know it's definitely Red Room, not just KGB. If you want to put it sort of in to context, HYDRA is the Red Room, a small branch of the Nazis/KGB. Except instead of giving the KGB New tech and sciencey stuff, it's gives them perfect brainwashed assassins. It's sort of good that it's only the Red Room because they only have one base, whereas the KGB have hundreds. However, it means that they're going to try to put Eva in to the extensive training and procedures that I've endured, and I really would not be able to live with myself if that happened, so let's hope I get there in time. The tell tale signs are the Red star on the corner, the red writing, the unique colour paper that the Red Room use, and the fact that it's in Petrovitch's writing.

Clint doesn't try to talk to me as we fly. He knows that I need time to prepare myself to face what I've been avoiding since I joined S.H.I.E.L.D. Flying, as long as you're not scared of heights, is actually very therapeutic. The sky above the clouds is so blue you can just stare at it and marvel for hours. If you look below, it's easy to make shapes out of the clouds. It's easy to stay up here and preteens that nothings wrong, that no one else exists. However, in reality, they do, our problems are real, and we need for deal with them.

We land in St Petersburg the next morning, though afternoon in Russia. I want to go and get Eva straight away but I know we should wait until we're rested, and probably until it's dark too. Clint takes first watch as I try to sleep, and fail quite miserably until he lays down under the blanket too and puts his arms around me. Then I'm able to fall asleep just fine. Except my sleep isn't exactly undisturbed.

"Anya? Anya?! ANYA?!" I scream. They're hanging her from the ceiling via her wrists, she's screaming every time they shock, hit or cut her, which I'm afraid to say, is actually quite often. She can't hear me, and I can't move. It's sort of like I'm completely paralysed, but even without opening my mouth I can still yell. "ANYA LOOK AT ME!"

They slap her across the face again and this time she turns to face me. There's blood dripping from her mouth and the same red liquid dripping from her forehead. I know she sees me, it's intuitive. "TASHA!" She shouts, also without moving her mouth. It's also odd because she's never once called me Tasha. It's always Nat or Alia. "TASHA!" She screams again, but this time it's with Clint's voice. "WAKE UP!"

And then my eyes flip open.

I'm breathing heavily, too heavily like I've just run six marathons without stopping. The back of my throat feels itchy, like when you wake up the day after a concert and due to the amount of screaming and lyric shouting you've gone through, your voice is completely gone. My hands are clammy and I'm covered in a cold sweat. "Tash, are you okay? You were thrashing about and screaming..." Clint asks, a concerned look on his face. I shake my head. Nodding, he puts his arm around me again.

A half an hour later of lying there in silence, I convince him to go to sleep. I sit there in silence on my own keeping watch for anyone who might want to kill us. I wake him up half an hour befor darkness falls and we make our way to the Red Room compound.

It's exactly the same as I remember, they have not changed a single thing. If I'm right by the faint light there is in this hallway, they haven't even changed the colour of the walls. There's a smell of blood and cleaning products in the air, like it always has had, because no matter how much they scrub it, the blood never comes clean. Eva's here somewhere, but she won't be in the dorms with the other girls. Petrovitch will be keeping her close to him, because he knows I'll come. So I lead Clint to his quarters and we take out a couple of guards on the way. It's strangely unguarded, and they should be if anything, with higher guards than usual, knowing I'm coming.

It's when we're almost there that they hit us. All the guards, they've been assigned to protect Eva and Ivan at all costs. It's unfortunate that they'll all be dead soon. Clint and I get to work killing one each at a time. They're not Red Room trained, because they fight like they've been trained for five minutes, not they're whole lives.

I put a bullet in the skull of the last man, and glance up at the door. He's pulling Eva out of it. I want to kill him so much that it shouldn't be allowed. Except I can't move a muscle. Because there's a gun to her head.


	12. Chapter 12

_Shoutouts to Sailorraven34 and DesertSnowQueen for reviewing!_

_A/N Just a heads up that there's mentions of rape in this chapter. And the italics are either her dream and bold is dialogue that should be in Russian_

I can't move. "Look who it is," Petrovitch says with a heavy Russian accent, "Young Natalia has come home."

"This place will never be my home." I reply in the same accent. Just seeing him has made me slip in to it. I need to get Clint and Eva out of there, it doesn't matter if I don't make it, as long as he dies.

"Natalia, let's get to it. You want her to get out of here, and I'm willing to make you a deal." He wants me to take her place. I know he does, it's just in the way he thinks. After he's told me such, I immediately agree. There's no way I couldn't.

"Alia, no." She whispers. I nod at her. I can do this. Petrovitch let's go of her and grabs me instead, with a glare at Clint and a gun to my head. Eva stumbles over to Clint, who's gaze is fixed on me. 'GO!' I mouth at him. 'Take her and go. Come back with the others.' Eva's looking at me funny. She doesn't understand what I'm saying. 'Leave her with Pep-' I'm almost finished when he shoves me through the doorway in to his bedroom, a place I haven't been in years.

"Now get the fuck off my land." I hear him shout through the door, and Eva and Clint must make themselves scarce, because he come in to his bedroom and drops his pants. Shit. He hasn't done this since I left, how could he if he hasn't seen me? The first thing he wants to do as soon as he gets me back is this. Believe it or not I haven't missed being raped every other day.

I'm crying in the room next to his half an hour later. I know he'll get me to train the kids that he's collected in the morning. I climb in to the bed that smells a little of Eva. After trying to sleep for way to long. I wonder about Eva and if she's okay. I wonder about Clint, if he got out okay, whether the others are coming to get me yet.

I eventually get to sleep.

_"Its not your fault, Anya." Clint comforts her, they're in the front of a jet, it's in autopilot as they fly over the darkness of the ocean. _

_"I could have fought more. He said he had her already, and I didn't question it until it was too late." Anya nothing's your fault. I try to tell her this, but my voice doesn't work._

_"Did he hurt you at all?" Thank you for asking that Clint. And for once I'm not being sarcastic. I really want to know._

_"He slapped me a bit when I didn't answer his questions, but he knew s-she was coming." At least she's not hurt like in my vision. Then I wouldn't be able to carry on. Now Anya's crying and as I go to hug her, I realise I can't. She'll see right through me and think she's going insane. Instead I find Clint's leg, __tap out Morse code and I know he feels it. The phrase translates to, _It's Nat. I love you. Tell Anya I love her. _And as Clint smiles I know he's got it. "Love you too, Tasha." He whispers back._

Comfort her you idiot _I tap out next and getting it, he puts his arm, through me may I add, around her , muttering about how I'm fine and she doesn't need to worry. He takes the jet off autopilot and begins to steer, and I-_

"**WAKE UP!**" My eyes fly open and I see Petrovitch's ugly face breathing in mine. I stand up, trying my hardest not to punch him in the face. **"You're training initiates in ten minutes."** I'm about to ask when breakfast is, but then I remember that the meal doesn't exist, he's left nutrients pills for me instead.

Leaving them there, I exit the room and wind the familiar route to the gym. There's still ten minutes so I hang up a punching bag and punch the shit out of it pretending that it's his face. I don't realise when the girls silently troop in. At least not until one of them coughs. I turn quickly and take her down before I realise that this seven year old is not an attacker. I know I shouldn't but I want to anger Petrovitch more, so I say, "I am so so sorry, I thought you were someone else." She looks so scared, as do all the others. "I'm going to teach you guys to de-" at seven did I understand this much English? Probably not. So I begin again in Russian.

"**I am so sorry. I thought you were an attacker. I'm going to teach you guys to defend yourselves. I don't want to hurt you. When I was here, they beat you if you did anything wrong. They killed the ones who were too bad. I'm going to get all of you out of here before that happens."**

The girls nod, and I begin to teach them how to use their sharp elbows and knees in a fight. I also tell them that if they ever found themselves sparring with an inexperienced man, they should just kick him in the balls and run. It's the best advice a woman can give. I feel terrible about doing this, but it's better than having anyone else torture them.


	13. Chapter 13

_Cheers to DesertSnowQueen, Sailorraven34 and Jo-Jo287 for reviewing!_

_A/N 13th chapter on the 13th of October. Why not? Again, bolded conversations are in Russian._

I have a break around lunch where I wander aimlessly trying to avoid everyone. I find myself on the roof, which is where Clint always goes to think. Except that's in America, land of the free. Dangling my legs precariously over the edge, I sit and stare at he cloudy grey sky, willing it not to rain. For once my wish comes true and it begins to brighten up a bit. That's when I hear footsteps behind me. **"I don't get it. Are you with us or against us?"** I snap my head around and see the Winter Soldier staring back at me. Just one of the many people I was trying to avoid.

**"Which are you?"** I reply, raising my eyebrow. I'm with him, if he decides he wants to try and reclaim his memories, but I'm certainly not with _them_.

**"You didn't answer my question." **He informs me. I don't know how to answer his question. I've checked they're are no cameras or microphones on the roof, but he might have one on him. Knowing Petrovitch, I'm surprised that I don't have one on me already.

**"And you didn't answer mine."** When in doubt, be smart arsed.

**"Fuck you, Natalia."** The good boy swore. Him swearing is sort of like Cap swearing, which he does believe it or not, from time to time.

**"How do you know my name?"** I ask. He must be beginning to remember. He must have fished Steve out of the lake, because he found some connection to him. This has to be good. He can help me escape.

**"I... I don't know."** And he genuinely doesn't. They've definitely wiped his memories, and I know they've done it recently... maybe he's becoming immune to it?

As I've been thinking there's been quite a pause, and James seems to think that it's my turn to talk.** "You should be against evil. You used to be." **I'm of course referring to quite a way back, in the 1940s, but he doesn't need to know that.

Obviously he doesn't like that topic of conversation. "**Who was the man I almost killed? The one I was ordered to kill with you."** If he had killed me Ivan would have had a hissy fit and a half, and probably would have killed most of HYDRA. That would've been good. All of Fury's work done.

**"Steve was your best friend from childhood. You fought together in the second World War."**

**"You're lying."** For once, I'm actually not.

**"I'm not. James listen to me-"** James? What the hell am I thinking?

He interrupts me with, **"Who the hell's James? Is he me? Is he Bucky?"**

**"Yes. James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes."** According to the good Captain anyway.

**"Look, Natalia, I didn't come here to find out about my past. I don't to be talking to you. The commander told me to look for you."** He turns to walk away.

**"James, help me escape. Escape with me. Even if you don't, the Avengers are coming to bomb the compound soon, and I'll have to drag your sorry ass out of here for Steve. Escape now, help me."** He doesn't turn, but he stops, considering for a moment.

**"No."** He walks away. I wait a few minutes before following him down the ladder, but then turn in to the gym. The afternoon session of training small people awaits me. At least these are supposed to be the older ones so they should put up a better fight.

I'm alone for five minutes which is way too long. In that time I have too many thoughts about Clint, Eva and any of the other guys dying, me never getting out of here and the Winter Soldier killing me. It's not exactly pleasant. As I'm just sitting on one of the benches, I notice when the older girls come in. I get them each set up with a punching bag and observe, correcting techniques and sometimes just making conversation, quietly of course.

I end the session a couple of hours later, after sparring and other workouts. A couple of them stay behind to talk to me. "Miss Romanova?" The tallest one, probably one of the best asks me.

"Yes?" I ask, quietly. They shouldn't be talking to me, and they know it. Still, I don't think Petrovitch will be watching. Not since I disconnected the camera feed anyway.

"Hypothetically, would you tell us how we can escape if we let you use a phone?" They want to leave. A new generation of spies want to leave the world. And they're talking to me in English. They know that Petrovitch barely knows the language, that he relies heavily on translators.

"If you want to go, you'll be hiding from them for the rest of your life. I'm pretty sure I could get you a place at S.H.I.E.L.D. And then you could escape in a couple of days with me." I need to get them out of here fast. All four girls nod excitedly. Then I remember that there's no S.H.I.E.L.D. Fury's probably building up something new. "So what are your names, how old are you and how long have you been here?"

"'M Yana, I'm thirteen been here eleven years." The smallest begins. She's got long wavy dark brown hair and green eyes.

"I'm Olga, sixteen, been here nine years." The on the far left. She's got shoulder length light brown hair and hazel coloured eyes. It seems as if the two tallest are protecting the two smaller ones in the middle.

"Irina, fourteen. I've been here ten years." The one on the right in the middle announces. She's got straight red hair and blue eyes.

"Klara. I'm twenty one. I've been here seventeen years. I just want to get out of here. I remember when you left. There was a massive thing." The tall, brave one says. She's got long white-blond hair, kept in a braid, extremely pale skin and blue eyes. That's the four of them, Klara, Olga, Irina and Yana.

"Hey," I smile, "I'm Natasha, but call me Miss Romanova when we're with people." They nod excitedly. "And were you saying something about a phone?"

Irina's eyes light up and she leads the way to the room that has beds in it. They've changed the layout, instead of the one dormitory, there's two rooms, a younger girls and an upper girls. Except we're going in to the younger girls.

"I'm still in the little girls dormy, because I only turned thirteen a week ago. That's why there's no one here." Yana tells me. I tell her what it was like in my day, and all of them except Klara seem quite shocked. I learn that Klara stays here too, because she's the oldest and apparently most qualified to look after the little ones.

Irina passes me a small mobile and I type in the familiar American number. "Hello?" Asks the voice on the other line.

"Clint." I breathe exhaling all my feelings. He's alive.

"NAT!" He screams happily, "You're alive! Thank God."

"Shush, I've got to be quick. Are you and the guys coming? Where's Eva?" I whisper, not wanting any one to overhear.

"I'm leaving her with Pepper like you said. She's completely fine. The guys want to leave tomorrow, Nat. I can't go without them, but I wish I could. Hold on, okay?" He pauses, but I don't think he's finished, "Tash, did you send me Morse code on the plane?"

"That was in my dream. How the hell did that happen?" Were talking in rushed, hushed tones, anxious to have a fully conversation before I get found out and killed.

"I don't know. Out of body experience? You have no idea how good it is to hear your voice, Tasha." Clint sighs.

"I do, Clint. I do because it's as good as it is to hear yours." I hear slow footsteps coming from down the hallway, drawing nearer. "Got to go Clint, love you bye." I motion for the girls to get under the beds as I walk out the door.

"Natalia!" Petrovitch smiles creepily. "I was looking for you. Where have you been?"

**"I was looking around the wing. You've done it up, haven't you?" **He nods slowly, probably wondering why I'm being nice. "Well I'll continue looking around, maybe you could guide me?"

**"Of course Natalia."** he says with that twinkle in his eye. Oh joy.

I see the four girls at dinner later that night. Thank God none of them were caught.


	14. Chapter 14

_Thanks to Jo-Jo287, Sailorraven34 and DesertSnowQueen for reviewing!_

_A/N So today I was just sitting in Spanish class, colouring my hair in black sharpie (don't ask) and then my teacher hands out these magazines. And __Iron Man was in mine. Also that was also the only bit of it I could translate. (Guess who's failing Spanish?) I am happy. And this is another of these quotey things I'm trying out. This is from a Contagious Chemistry by You Me at Six (it won't do the single line breaks sorry)_

_Dearest Enemy,_

_you should've never trusted me,_

_you bitch_

The next day on my break at midday I wander to the roof again. The Winter Soldier's there waiting for me. "Widow. I'll help you escape if you take me with you."

"Okay." I reply. Now there's six in out escape party.

"There aren't as many guards at night, especially not in the south west corner. We can go tonight." I nod thoughtfully. Tonight would be good, especially if the Avengers are coming soon.

"Okay. I promised a few girls they could come too."

"Ah, yes." He mutters sadly. "Those two." Shit. Two of them are dead. And It's my fault. Shit. I hope their death was painless. Well at lest two of them are still alive. I look away from him. "Outside the south west stairwell, 10:30, Widow." He tells me before leaving.

I might have been a little late to the gym that afternoon, however when I get there I did not expect to see Klara and one of the other tall girls having a fully weaponized fight, the others crowding around them choursing "**FIGHT**!" Repetitively. At least they do some childlike stuff. Even if it's fighting.

I quickly assess that there's no instructors around and scream, "STOP!" As loud as can. "**I'm very disappointed in you."** I say eyeing them. **"Why are you still killing your friends here? Even when they do that for you?"** Klara looks wounded and after a quick assessment, I see Irina and Olga aren't present. Crap. Time for stories about death with Natasha. "**When I was trained here, you were encouraged to make friends, so when you got old enough, they'd tell you that you had to kill them all if you wanted to become the best. Or alternatively, you could be killed. Don't kill because you get the chance to, only when you're ordered. Because I'm telling you, you'll regret it. Are any of you called Alisa?"** Two hands go up. **"I wasn't good at making friends and I got punished for that. My only friend was called Alisa. We were the last two alive. And I killed her. I regret it, more than you'll ever know. But if we'd both refused, things would have turned out differently because they needed one of us, and we might have both been alive. At couple of years after, they changed the policy because of the psychological effects which transpired from it. So all I'm saying is, DON'T KILL YOUR FRIENDS."**

There's a small silence. All of them are shocked. I really shouldn't have told them. But this is why I don't appreciate the Hunger Games. Children killing each other? That's reality. Clint's read it, but he hasn't watched it because apparently he's appalled by her shooting in the trailer. "I**'m now going to teach you one of the most effective ways to kill, slightly hypocritically. Get in to partners."** And once they're all partnered up, a bomb exploding shakes the whole compound. "SHIT STARK!" I scream, knowing he can't hear me. "I'M STILL IN HERE!" Klara grabs Yana and drags her over to me, and using a route I remember from a long time ago. James is waiting at the south west stairwell, even though it's only afternoon. But then I see why he's waiting, an aircraft is landing. I smile as the guys come out and begin to battle, the Winter Soldier fighting with them. "Klara, is there any others that aren't killing machines?"

"The younger ones but-" I cut her off, I have the information I need.

"I'll be on it in a sec. Follow me." I take them in to the plane and grab the ear piece that I know would be waiting for me. "Stay here and protect this at all costs. That's your mission." They nod and I put the comm in my ear, walking back out of the jet.

"Hello there. Updates, the Winter Soldier is now on your side and I need Hawkeye to infiltrate the compound with me." I tell the guys, to which none of them respond, because they're all so busy fighting. Well all except Stark of course.

"Well hello there Natashalie." He quips.

"Did you call me hot guy?" Clint asks, and I hear the twang of his bowsting snapping back.

"I most certainly did not." I reply. Seeing, Clint running over, I beckon him through the door. The younger ones are all in English class, so I kill the instructor and get them out. One of them won't come, so she's left behind. The oldest I find out is called Sara, and I tell her to help Clint lead them out. But I have one more job to do. Petrovitch. "By inviting you back, Natalia, I knew this would happen. But please don't kill me. The only person who's ever had faith in you." He says in broken English.

"You'll never be the only person who has faith in me." I punch him a couple of times before pulling out a gun. I hold it up against head and take him outside where the fighting stopped because all the Red Room soldiers are dead. Upon sight, the Winter Soldier shoots him twice in the stomach and I shoot him in the head. Then I put a widow bite in his mouth which causes him to write in excruciating pain and throw him back in to the compound. All of us run back to the aircraft and Clint and I jump in the pilots seats to take off. Once we are in the air, Stark blows the thing up. And I've never felt more pleased.

_A/N The Alisa thing references the story I'm co-writing with Jo-Jo287, **When Worlds Collide,** which you should definitely go and check out. Alisa is also the name of my OC in **Who is my father?** But she doesn't get her name from this._


	15. Chapter 15

_Thanks to Jo-Jo287, DesertSnowQueen and Sailorraven34 for reviewing!_

_A/N So my sick day was spent feeling ill, watching Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. And writing this. So I'm sorry it's not as good as normal._

We drop all the girls except Yana and Klara off at an orphanage in New York. One I've been to before, one that I know will run a DNA scan on all of them to see if and of their families are still alive. Clint and I sit in the pilots seats, wanting to ask each other questions, wanting to talk but we can't, not with everyone listening. So instead we, like every one else listen to the conversation Steve and James are having. It's not at all interesting as James is refusing to talk, and Steve isn't the most talkative man ever. The flight is long, too much waiting to see my little sister. I wonder if she'll like Yana and/or Klara. Talking of those two, they're talking really quietly in Russian whilst sitting in the far corner. Tony, bless him, goes over and asks if they're okay, and if they want anything. They politely say no, and go back to discussing... they're discussing Irina and Olga's deaths. "Clint..." I whisper. "I'm going to talk to them for a sec. Be right back." He nods as I climb over Steve and make my way over there.

"It's not your fault." I tell them.

"But it is, Miss Romanova. I suggested leaving." Yana tells me, her green eyes glassy.

"Natasha's fine, Yana. And if I hadn't come you guys so have tried to leave anyway, wouldn't you?" They both nod. "Then you would all be dead. Be grateful you two are still alive, yeah?" They both nod again. "I can't pretend to know what you're going through, but I just want you to know that you're welcome to talk to me whenever." I smile gently and turn. I take two steps before Yana speaks again.

"Miss Natasha?" She asks this time in English and I turn back, waiting for her to continue. "Thank you." She says and smiles brightly before turning back and talking to Klara. I jump back in to the pilots seat.

There's few minutes of silence before Clint asks me, "Are they okay?"

"No," I reply, "But they will be."

We land several hours later, and by that time I am more than ready to get off the awkward aeroplane, where the silence is tense and the tension is so thick you could cut it with a spoon. I've never understood that phrase. I'm the first off, having a door that's easy to open right by the side of me, rather than a huge slidey door the others all have to file out of. It's raining hard, water slashing down so that it's hard to see. I run to where I know the door to the warm dry onside should be, and collide with a person who's slightly smaller than me. Eva. Luckily the doors a push and I manage to keep us upright. "You shouldn't have done that for me." She says right off the bat.

"Maybe I shouldn't have, but I did." I reply just as quickly, and we are joined by the rest, all the Avengers, Yana, Klara, Falcon and James.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Eva repeats over and over. Her emotions are overloading her.

"Eva, calm down." I whisper. She begins to hyperventilate. "Anya." I look at Clint. He encourages everyone else in to th elevator, and they leave us. "Anya, it's okay. I'm fine, you're fine, I killed people that needed to be killed-"

"But Alia-" She interrupts, but I then cut her off.

"Everything is fine Anya. Some people got out of a bad place-"

"Alia-"

"No buts Anya. Promise me-"

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!" We're both silent for a moment, the only sound the lashing rain outside, before she continues, "He told me he'd killed you after he'd taken me, then you came and he actually got you and he said, 'I'm going to have fun with her tonight' and I thought he was actually going to kill you, and, and-"

"Calm down. I'm not dead. I thought you were dead for twenty two years, so payback." Anya smiles weakly. I give her a little hug and soon enough she's alright and back to asking questions.

"Who were those two girls? And that man?" She asks. Obviously she did notice the others coming in here. "I met Bruce and Thor when Clint and I got back but I didn't see them."

"The older girl is called Klara, she's 21. The younger ones Yana, whose just 13. I got them out of the Red Room, the place from which I escaped. From the short time I've known them, they seem like great girls. The man... You remember I got Steve that file?"

Anya nods and the realisation dawns on her. "The Winter Soldier? It's him?" I nod and tell her to get cleaned up so she can meet them.

A few minutes later we make it tot the communal floor where everyone else is. Without any pushing or promoting, she walks over to Klara and Yana and begins to make conversation with them in Russian. Everyone else seems to be relatively normal except me, Steve, James and... Clint. He keeps trying to make eye contact with me, because he knows I'm not alright. When we finally do, I see the worry on his face, as clear as a day. I immediately walk to the elevator, taking it to his floor. Seconds later he joins me.

"Tasha, are you okay?" Am I okay? No, I'm an assassin. I tell him this and Clint replies, "But did he hurt you?" My lack of answer tells him exactly how he hurt me. "Tash, he'll never hurt you again. We made sure of that." That we did. I bury my face in to his chest, and rest myself in to his arms. We stay like that for hours, and I'm not sure I'd ever like to move from that spot again.

_A/N My notes said this chapter was supposed to be, "Steve and Bucky have a deep conversation on the way back that every one listens to, Clint and Natasha have deep conversation while Anya, Klara and Yana make friends." It didn't really turn out that way really though. Oopsies. Please review!_


	16. Chapter 16

_Thanks to Jo-Jo287, Sailorraven34 and DesertSnowQueen for the reviews!_

_A/N This turned out longer than expected... but I did follow my notes!_

"Miss Romanoff, Mr Barton, Mr Stark requests your presence on the communal floor." J.A.R.V.I.S. awakens me. I stretch, reply, "Tell him we'll be up in ten." And proceed to poke Clint awake, much to his annoyance. The whole time we're getting ready he grumbles about the only time Stark's awake before eleven is when he wants us to be awake too. I smile and drag him up with me.

Tony's set it up like a business meeting and its nice to see him doing something professional. But there's only six chairs. So it's an Avengers meeting. He, Bruce and Thor are there when we get there, so when Steve hurriedly arrives, we're complete.

"So," Tony begins, standing up. "You're all probably wondering why I got us together today. Well, last night I was thinking, no I shouldn't start like that. The other day I was talking to Natasha and it got me thinking, no that's not a good way either. I was thinking, anyway... I don't know how to give these speeches, it's usually Capsicles job, no that was not what I was thinking, I was thinking that we're not a team. We need to talk about who we are, what's happened since New York... stuff we should know about each other. I know some of you guys, *cough* assassins *cough* probably won't like sharing this stuff, but we need to do it. So I'll go first.

"My name's Tony Stark. My parents were killed in a car crash when I was young. I was looked after by this guy called Obidiah Stane. I inherited my father's weaponry business. Six years ago, I went to Afghanistan to demonstrate a new missile I'd designed, the Jericho missile. The demonstration went fine, and then I got in to this truck. And we got ambushed. I got shrapnel in my chest, and when I woke up in a cave there was an electromagnet hooked up to a car battery strapped to my chest. My captors wanted me to make them a Jericho missile. There was another guy in there... Yinsen... He translated everything and helped me build the first arc reactor, which allowed me to get rid of the car battery. Anyway, I agreed to build them that stupid missile and built the Mark I instead. Yinsen gave his life to make sure I got out of the cave. I got out and made the Mark II, as well as a new arc reactor. All this while Stane was building another suit, a bigger one, and one day he stole my arc reactor and used it to power his. Pepper made me keep my old reactor, and I used that to keep me alive. I ended up killing him and the next day I told the world I was Iron Man. The same day Fury visited me and told me about this initiative.

"The next thing that really happens was that I started dying of paladium poisoning. That was around the time I started the expo back up again. You guys know all about what happened that month, in Monaco, at my birthday party, it was all over the news. Except one thing. That Natasha was ordered to become my personal body guard.

"Then New York happened and you guys know all about that, you were there. Afterwards I had panic attacks and I couldn't sleep, ever, so I made more suits. And when it got to 42, the Mandarin attacks started, I gave him my address, my house got blown up and everyone thought I was dead. Basically I, well Pepper, killed the Mandarin, I blew up all my suits and got the rest of the shrapnel removed from my chest. I've built a couple more suits since then, but I can sleep now. I'd say I'm as okay as I'll ever be."

He sits down and looks at the rest of us, seeing who'll go next. So I do. I stand up. "Umm, as you know, my name now is Natasha Romanoff, but my birth name was Natalia Alianova Romanova. I was born in 1986, in Volograd in Russia. Two years later, my little sister was born. I had a perfect life with loving parents, from what I remember anyway, until I was six, when I thought my parents and sister died in a fire, and I was kidnapped by the firestarter, who was the leader of this... organisation called the Red Room. I guess you could say it was like a school to begin with. They taught us languages, how to remember things, how to assemble and disassemble guns and other weapons. They were heavy on the physical fitness side of things, making sure we were ready for the combat training that came later. Two years after I began that life I could speak fluent English. They gave us steroids to prep us for brainwashing, and to make us stronger. After the brainwashing though, I still had my memories if I thought about them hard enough.

"After that the full combat training began, and the lessons on how to kill people. When I was twelve I left the compound for the first time in six years. I got the information and received no punishment. It was at this time they started to kill the ones that failed. When I was fourteen I killed a man for the first time. By the time I was fifteen I was the only one in the black widow program who hadn't been killed, because we had to kill the others, to make sure we were strong enough. However, the next year I knew I had to get out of there. Either by dying or running away. I ran away two years later when I became a freelance assassin, doing jobs to earn money. Two years later Barton found me in a dark place, where I asked him to kill me, and he brought me in to S.H.I.E.L.D. A couple of months later I became an agent, and I thought I was doing good. Six years ago, Budapest happened and I'm not going to talk about it, because it will just end up with Clint and me arguing about what really happened. I worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. And did what they wanted me to do, including becoming Stark's PA. The Avengers happened. I, like Stark, have nightmares about it, but I'm used to it by now. About a month ago, I was asked to interrogate someone at S.H.I.E.L.D. And it turned out she was my sister who I thought had been dead for years. At the same time HYDRA rose up and shit, but Cap can tell you all about that."

I sit down and Cap takes that as his que to stand up. "I guess it's my turn now. My name is Steven Grant Rogers, I was born in 1918. As a kid, I had really bad heath problems and I got beat up a lot. My parents died when I was young too, my dad of mustard gas, my mother of TB. My best, and only, friend was named Bucky. I tried to sign up to go to fight in the war a lot and I got rejected a lot too. Finally I was accepted and I got to undergo a procedure invented by men named Abraham Erksine and Howard Stark. I became muscley and all my health problems were gone. But I was forced to do a load of shows instead of going off to war. I was performing for the actual army when I heard Buckys's unit had been captured. I ran off and rescued them all. Then I got to put together a team to take down the remaining HYDRA bases. Bucky died falling off a train when we captured one of the scientists. I thought he did any way. We defeated HYDRA, well almost did and I flew a plane in to ice to stop it blowing up the eastern seaboard. I was frozen for almost 70 years and everything's changed during that time. Avengers happened and I suppose that doesn't really effect me, it was just weird like the rest of the world. I started to get back in to the world and then HYDRA rose again, bringing Bucky with it. You guys saw the news. And that's it I suppose."

Steve sits down, and Thor stands up. "My name is Thor, son of Odin. I could tell you tales of how I grew up, but I'll start with when I arrived on earth for the first time. I was banished here by my father. Lady Jane of your planet found me and took me in. Loki visited me and told me that out father was dead. He sent the destroyer to destroy me, but I regained the power of Mjolnir and defeated it. Then I went back to Asgard. Loki tried to destroy Jodenheim and I had to destroy the BiFrost to stop him. And then he fell in to an abyss and I assumed him dead. The next time I came to earth, it was because of him, and as you call it, the battle of New York. Then I had to settle peace in the nine realms. Once peace was settled, I was talking to Heimdall and he told me he could no longer see Lady Jane. Once he could again, I came down to Midgard and brought her back to Asgard. She had one of the infinity stones, the Aether, inside of her, and it was the one that the Dark Elves wanted. They infiltrated Asgard and killed my mother, but did not get Lady Jane. We committed treason to get out of Asgard, and then we defeated the Dark Elves. I visited my father and turned down the throne, and I have lived on Midgard ever since."

Thor sits down and everyone looks between Bruce and Clint, so Bruce stands up. "I don't know what to say. I became the Hulk because I experimented with Gamma Radiation. But I don't remember anything when I'm the other guy, so there's nothing I can say. Before New York, I tried to find a cure, found there wasn't one and focused on helping people. After New York, I helped people. Nothing changed. I'm sorry about all your lives and I hope they get better."

So everyone looks at Clint. "Look, I don't share this stuff but you know, I sort of owe it to you since you shared it with me. I was born in Iowa. I had an older brother and two parents, my dad an abusive drunk and my mum a druggie. Their car got wrapped round a tree one night and Barney and I were shipped off to an orphanage. Quite a few years later we ran away to the circus, Carson Carnival of Traveling Wonders, actually and worked as roustabouts. I tried shooting one time and I became Hawkeye: Kid wondershot. Trained by Swordsman and Trickshot. I caught Swordsman robbing from the circus one night and he offered for me to join him. I rejected him, and he left with Barney.

Later, Trickshot asked me to join him in raiding a criminal named Marko. But I killed one of Marko's guards and ihe almost killed me. Turned out it was Barney. I left Trickshot and became a freelance Assassin/Circus shot. Then Coulson found me and I decided to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. I found Nat some years later and brought her in. A load of missions happened. Budapest happened and I became 80% deaf. After New York... I had nightmares about killing you, all of you, not being able to fight off Loki's control. I worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. like normal and here we are now with no S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Well thank you for participating in this meeting, fellow Avengers. Is there anything else you want to say?"

Everyone else shakes their heads so I stand up and say, "Clint and I have been dating since Budapest, six years ago bye." Then he and I make our way quickly to the elevator and leave. A successful business meeting I'd say.


	17. Chapter 17

_Thanks to Jo-Jo287, Sailorraven34 and DesertSnowQueen for reviewing!_

_A/N Sorry this took a while. Longer A/N at the end. Russian is still bold._

This morning I contacted Fury, who although I knew would be still shutting down HYDRA, but also would be starting a new S.H.I.E.L.D. He wouldn't put his self as head, he'd put either Coulson or Maria, but Coulson's dead and Maria's working for Stark. So there must be someone else. Anyway, I contacted him, and he said he'd come and pick up Klara for S.H.I.E.L.D. academy training tonight. I'd already discussed it with her, and Klara said that it was what she wanted to do, and I wasn't about to stop her.

Currently the whole team is sitting around on the communal floor, mainly doing different things. Klara and Yana are having a kind of goodbye talk, a couple of the others watching TV, Bruce, Tony and Jane are locked in a deep scientific debate. Fury walks in and Tony immediately jumps up and screams, "Security breach, JARVIS! Wait, what's the Pirate doing here?"

"Ms Romanoff called me here this morning. It's not a social visit. Does anyone else want to come to the new intelligence agency, which is yet to have a name, but very like S.H.I.E.L.D?" Fury says drily, no doubt rolling his eyes in his head.

It then becomes apparent that Yana and Klara are indeed having an argument, although it is still in Russian. "**I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LEAVE ME!"** Yana screams at her, standing up.

**"YOU'LL BE FINE! I HAVE TO GO!" **Klara retorts, and I sort of know why she feels that way. Yana reminds her of the Red Room, and she needs to get away.

**"GIVE ME ONE LEGITIMATE REASON WHY!"** All the others are looking at us, although none of them understand except Clint, they seem to get the gist of it.

**"Yana, calm down. She'll come back to visit."** I intervene.

**"NO I WON'T CALM DOWN, SHE'S JUST GOING TO LEAVE ME. AFTER IRINA AND OLGA JUST... died... Klara please stay... Please..."**

**"Sorry Yana. I'll be back okay?"**

Yana nods tearfully.** "Fine. Go. Just... Come back soon." **I'm surprised Yana backs down so easily. Maybe she knows that she'll never win.

**"I'll try."** They hug and Klara goes to stand next to Fury.

"You know Natasha, have you given any-" Fury asks, and I'm pretty sure I knows it's what he said to me earlier. He wants Anya to join S.H.I.E.L.D. And she's not. She can't be put in danger like that.

"No. Maybe. I'll talk to her. At some point." In the far away future. I've just got my sister back, she's not going anywhere anytime soon.

I'm in the gym later, alone for the first time in a long while. And I'm soon joined by someone I never thought I'd see dead in the gym, Tony Stark. "Natasha I need to ask you something."

"What? I'm busy." I reply, still just running on the treadmill. No one else is around.

"It needs thought. I'll ask you later." I shut the treadmill off and go to stand by him.

"Must be important. I'm listening." He says something so fast I can't make it out. This must be important to him. "Slow down. What's wrong."

"I think... No, I know I want to adopt Yana." Tony says slowly. Although I didn't necessarily expect this, I'm not entirely surprised. Tony has been interacting with Yana really well. She seems to like him, which although seems quite strange, I mean who meets Tony and likes him in only a couple of days, without being pissed off? However it isn't unheard of.

"Okay. Why?" I ask, feeling like one of the people that decides whether a person is fit to become an adopted parent or not. They're government people aren't they? Looks like I'm a government person again.

"She's lost, she needs someone to be there for her. I want to be that person. It's time for me to grow up." That, Mr Stark, is one of the best answers you could have given. I'm in awe. Though, I'm still in adopter decider mode.

"Have you talked to Pepper?"

"Yeah. She thinks its a good idea." Any idea which encourages you to grow up is a good idea to Pepper. As well as to everyone else.

"Well just give it some thought and I'll talk to her about it. Make sure you definitely want this." If the assassin thing doesn't work out, I should just go in to social working. Except I don't like being social. Well that's that career out.

"Thanks Natasha." I can see how much this means to him, how much he wants to help this little girl that has no home and no family, and wants to provide her with a sense of safety.

It's the next day that I'm left alone with Yana and get the chance to speak to her. I ask her what she thinks of Tony and she replies that he's kind, smiley and acts as if he genuinely cares about her. A good start. Next I ask her what she thinks about parents. And she replies, "I'd know what to say if I'd ever had any." I then leave her alone and ask JARVIS to send a recording of that to Tony.

I bump in to James as I get in the elevator. He seems a mix of shock and worry but before I can speak he says, "Natalia, I am so sorry about everything I've done. I'm sorry I made you fall in love with me when you weren't allowed. I'm sorry I ripped your heart in two. I'm sorry for shooting you. Twice. I've remembered everything. How the hell am I going to tell Steve that I remember him, the howling commandos, even falling from that train and seeing his face?" I feel tears form in my eyes, remembering myself, what a good time it was, back then, a safe haven. And then it was ripped away. I blink the tears away.

"Just tell him you've remembered and you're sorry about everything, that you remembered and you want to catch up. Or something. I'm sorry I can't be more helpful." I reply, calmly walking out the next time it stops.

Bruce says he's leaving the next day, the same day and Thor says that he and Jane are staying. I guess I understand that Bruce feels tension around here and he feels that he would rather be helping people than sitting around here. He does give Tony a phone number before he leaves though. Finally, after having some time to think about it, Steve, Sam and Bucky all say that they're staying too.

Tony eventually gets the balls to ask Yana if she wants to be adopted, and not unsurprisingly she has no clue what that is. He explains, and I'm surprised that Yana only hesitates for half a second before agreeing. I'm glad they got their happiness.

Anya tells me only a week after Klara's left that she wants to join S.H.I.E.L.D, but not to leave me. I tell her that I can do the physical training with her, and she'll need that before she goes in and we can sort the rest out later.

Tony adopts Yana with only the problem of her being dead according to the documents. She seems to be pretty happy about it, though other than that she seems distant, confused and lonely. I suppose it's the lack of people her age and the complete change in environment from the Red Room.

Me? I think I'm doing okay. I know the person that hurt me from a young age is dead, my sister's alive, and even though S.H.I.E.L.D. isn't all fixed, they're working on a better one. One that won't be over run with terrorists.

Twenty eight years ago, in 1986, I was born.

Twenty six years ago my sister was born.

Twenty four years ago I celebrated my fourth birthday like nothing would ever go wrong.

Twenty two years ago my parents and my sister were killed and I joined the Red Room.

Twenty years ago I learnt how to speak English.

Eighteen years ago I started getting lessons on how to kill people.

Sixteen years ago I was sent on my first mission, to get information on something.

Fourteen years ago I killed my first man.

Twelve years ago I was made a conscious decision that I wanted to leave the Red Room.

Ten years ago I left the Red Room and became a freelance assassin.

Eight years ago Clint brought me in to S.H.I.E L.D.

Six years ago Budapest happened.

Four years ago I became Tony Stark's PA for a month or two.

Two years ago the Avengers happened

This year Hydra came back, S.H.I.E.L.D. was torn down and has began to be rebuilt, the Red Room has been taken down, hopefully forever, and I've found my little sister again.

_A/N So that's it, Forgotten over. But not the whole thing because yes in five minutes I shall be posting a sequel called Fresh Start all about Tony and Yana, so if that seems interesting, go read! __Thank you to all those who've read this and an even bigger thank you to everyone who followed, favorited and reviewed!_

**_Random007_**


End file.
